The Vilanculos Bus Trip.

Not having a roadworthy vehicle is an incumbent at the best of times but as the gorgeous Kate had arrived in Chimoio her father expressed a desperate desire to see her. So it was decided that having no other alternative form of transport we would have to take the Vilanculos shappa or bus.

Denzia was dispatched to the bus top where she purchased two tickets 26 and 26A. She came back with the tickets in hand and explained - due to the fickleness of the shappa system we would have to present ourselves at 2am in the morning to embark on our voyage. While I digested the shock of this rather unexpected time schedule the gorgeous Kate packed.

We duly arrived at the bus stop to find it a hive of activity. The bus was already packed to the roof with travellers and their baggage, this included a man who was carrying a tower of eggs in cardboard cartons. I waved my tickets while Albert the driver carried our baggage. Albert held the bags while Kate and I clambered on all fours over the passengers and their luggage. We squeezed past the man with the eggs and arranged ourselves into the back seat next to an Indian gentleman and various others. It appeared that 26 and 26A were a figment of the conductor's imagination. Our bags were passed through the window and then lobbed at us from quite a distance. Kate managed to rugby tackle them in midair and secure them. As there was no storage place they joined us on seat 26 and 26A.

As more and more passengers were squashed in, Kate had to sit on my lap and my nose was now pressed against the shappa window and my rear end placed on what felt like an iron rod. To my absolute horror the egg man advanced towards us from his standing position. Holding his eggs high above his head he managed to wrestle himself in next to us. Just as I was about to change my mind about the sanity of this mode of transport the engine burst into life and we set off through the streets of Chimoio. I caught a glimpse of Albert the driver waving us a fond farewell.

As the driver accelerated and turned a corner the baggage from the luggage rack flew around the bus like enormous missiles thudding randomly on unsuspecting passenger's heads. The victims did not seem to mind too much and cheerful hands helped to put the luggage back once we were stabilized.

It was all too much for Kate, the early hour soon had her nodding off like one of those toy dogs that people used to put in the back of their cars. Unfortunately each time she nodded off her head would fall forward and I would receive a head butt to the forehead. Eventually we came to a compromise and she managed to lie face down on my lap resting on our bags. Not too far into the journey the egg man succumbed to exhaustion and you can imagine my huge surprise when suddenly he slumped forward still holding the eggs and collapsed on top of Kate. I was in the unenviable position of having passengers 26A and 27 on my lap.

The half way stop had to be seen to be believed and as I was desperate to relieve myself I managed to lever Kate off my lap along with the egg man and fight my way to the door. I soon realized this would be futile and joined the crowd going through the window. As I hauled myself out I was lifted horizontally by the crowd outside and managed to make my way to the Senhoras. This establishment did not have a door you could close so I had to pee in full view of the next in line. Climbing back into the bus was not that easy and although I was shoved through the window I could not find a place to put my foot. I sat suspended until I managed to wedge my shoe into some poor passenger's crutch. He took offence and became rather hostile, instead of assisting me, he gave my ankle a hard slap. 

I finally managed to make my way back to Kate who had taken advantage of her mother's absence and had curled herself into a ball occupying seat 26 and 26A, the egg man was steadfastly holding on to seat 27. By this time perspiration was running down my forehead and I seriously felt I had just run the gauntlet.

Our journey proceeded and I suddenly began to panic when I realized that it would be an exit through the window on our arrival at Pambara and how would the conductor see our extended hands when we wanted to disembark. Fortunately for us the bus stopped there anyway so the passengers could refuel with tangerine and bananas. Kate and I crawled over the passengers with our bags in tact and were lifted bodily through the window. Kate fortunately landed on her feet but I wasn't so lucky. I picked myself up from a sprawled position and dusted myself off. We had survived and arrived Chimoio -Vilanculos in an African Bus.

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Amanda,
Casa Bella,
Mozambique