The Wetsuit

We are off to Nelson's Bay in Mozambique on the 11th camping, Granny B is coming as well. The excitement is building up and we are trying to locate all the camping equipment and there is not much left after four evictions but not to worry. I am particularly excited because Pat can use his wetsuit I bought all the way from the UK.

Just before I returned to Zimbabwe I was rushing around looking for last minute Christmas presents when My brother Tim who is a legend in his own lifetime when it comes to surfing came across a surf shop sale (this is in St. Ives the surfing mecca of the UK for those of you who are trying to picture a surf shop through the fog). There hanging in the window were these wonderful wetsuits all different colours and they were advertised at half price. I bounded up the stairs and all but embraced the young salesman. This is exactly what I need for my husband I enthused. In no time at all I was the proud owner of an extra extra large wetsuit. I took it home and tried to pack it carefully in my suitcase. It was a struggle as it was like an inflatable doll. When I bent the wetsuit’s knees the arms came up and grabbed me round the neck. I eventually suppressed it by standing on my suitcase and zipping it up.

On my return to Zimbabwe I hid it carefully away from Pat. When I wrapped it I had to restrain it in a cardboard box because of its brand new elasticity. Christmas day eventually arrived I could hardly contain my excitement. We gathered round with our gifts Pat looked pleased with his box and kept on picking it up and shaking it. As he unwrapped the paper he was trying to guess what it was, finally he reached the cardboard box as he lifted the lid he unleashed the wetsuit. It took him by surprise but he recovered swiftly Pat held it up in wonder.

This is lovely darling but you know we are a land locked country!! Try it on friends and family urged him. He disappeared to the bedroom. When he hadn't made an appearance I thought I better go and check. There he was contorted in a Houdini like position his face as red as a beetroot. What size is this for God sake!! Its extra extra large I replied smugly. We eventually squeezed him into it although I had to sit on him to zip it up. He rolled off the floor and then managed to stand. Darling you look stunning just like the guys in the James Bond movie I said encouragingly. With difficulty Pat managed to shuffle to the mirror but then he turned sideways and oh my god his stomach blotted out the sun. So it’s been hanging in the cupboard ever since waiting for an opportunity, so Nelson's here we come.

Mandy
Chinhoyi
Zimbabwe