Wednesday, May 07, 2003 6:05 AM

Spying on the teens

We had a really fantastic time in Moz, Nelson's Bay was as it always is "far from the madding crowd." but utterly worth it. Once we crossed the border we were in the jolliest mood breaking into song as we trundled towards Chimoio (with fewer mets for our dollar than we ever have had before). People along the road waved madly at us, first we turned around to see who they were waving at, but suddenly realised it was at us, brilliant, they were happy to see us(unlike Chinhoyi where the daily greeting was the clenched fist or they spat at you) .We soon got into the swing of things and merrily waved at everyone we passed. Our euphoria turned into exhaustion, you keep forgetting how long the drive to Nelson's is, but we finally made it at 12 pm at night and managed to wake everyone in the camp by not being able to find our chalet.

In the morning,it was so great to see so many old friends, most of us displaced some recovering from war vet injuries but all of us in a holiday mood. Our daughters tell us they are getting too old for Nelson's (that really worries me because they are always our excuse to go to there) and that they are now the oldest there and we must consider Umshlanga and Durban so they can meet people (that means boys). Linda High(a legend in her own lifetime) from Karoi and I decided to do Beach Patrol one night to see why the girls kept on disappearing with Vodka laced red drink. We gathered a group together Linda and I being stick leaders. We lost Pam van Leenhoff on the first  recce she decided her bed looked a better option than beach spotting. That left Annie Cheesman(also very famous for dancing on tables), Linda and I, and in our rear was nine year old Tan Farquhar (going to be famous) she was there for back up. 

We weaved our way through coconut fronds to a fire on the beach surrounded by the teens. We couldn't detect our daughters as we didn't have night vision goggles, so had to make a plan to move closer. As Linda, Annie and I crouched behind a palm leaf I shouted a command to Leopard skin to our new position behind a huge piece of drift wood. Linda enquired if Leopard skin was the same as Leopard crawl as she wasn't familiar with that manoeuvre and with that broke into wild, uncontrollable, laughing and to my utter dismay we were detected. A voice shouted above the bonfire "who is in there"!. I jumped on Linda to shut her up but she had unfortunately lost complete control and was clutching her tummy wildly with mirth. One of the teens had now decided to find out what was going on but I wasn't waiting round to be caught. Could you imagine the embarrassment of a middle -aged mother caught behind palm trees spying on her daughter. So I ran like the clappers in the direction of the camp leaving Annie, Linda and Tan in a cloud of sand. Unfortunately for me, while I was in full flight I landed full spread in a recently dug rubbish pit and before I could gather breath and check if my neck was actually broken Tan Farquhar landed on top of me. I managed to crawl out before Linda and Annie followed suit and finished me off.

We didn't do another beach patrol after that, who cares if they drink vodka. There are lots of other stories but it would take too long. Beryl and I are off to London on the 27th May flying Air Egypt this time, anything for adventure. I will be continuing my career as barmaid/waitress and Beryl will be honing in on the British Government to replenish her benefits. Hopefully we will be more successful than last time. We had a lot of interest in the Horse Safaris in Moz specially round the Vilanculos area so that was interesting .

Mandy Retzlaff
Bvumba
Zimbabwe