Saved in the Nick of Time

Some years ago when Patrick and I were farming near Chinhoyi a great friend of ours attended a Tobacco conference in Harare. He held a fairly high position in a Tobacco company and was booked in to a top Harare hotel. On arrival he was told that he must lock up all valuables and his identity documents as there had been a spate of muggings in the hotel car park. Picturing himself being smashed over the head with a brick Arch hastily obliged and locked up every identity document he possessed. As he was spending the weekend with us he left his luggage and passport in the hotel's safe keeping. 

We were delighted to have Arch for the weekend as we hadn't seen him for years, so it was a great reunion. But short-lived. Unfortunately, I made the grave mistake of insisting he accompany my daughter Kate and I to Chinhoyi so we could catch up on all the news. Patrick had rushed to Harare to deliver a truckload of tomatoes. We parked the car and as we were making our way to a coffee shop I was stopped by a young policeman. He demanded to see my I.D. I thought I had misheard but I could see he meant business so I rummaged around in my bag looking for my driving license. Although I submitted my I.D. documentation in 1985 I am still discless and use my Driving License. This of course was not to be found. The contents of my bag lay strewn around my feet. Arch was gazing at me in utter disbelief. A crowd began to gather, the policeman then turned his attention to Arch demanding to see his I.D. Arch hastily tried to explain that he was just a visitor and didn't possess a disc and unfortunately was not in possession of his passport. I then intervened and told the policeman not to be stupid. Things went from bad to worse the word stupid unfortunately activated a fuse and our policeman turned nasty. I was seized by the arm and Arch and I were marched off to the local Police Station. I had forgotten all about Kate who by this stage was panic struck and told her to sit in the Coffee shop until our return. 

On arrival at the Police Station I was confidant that I would be given an audience with the Member in Charge and Arch and I would be released immediately, I mean why would anyone want to lock up a visitor and an important one at that just because he didn't have his passport on him. I reassured a wild eyed and very nervous looking Arch I would have this in hand and in no time at all we would be back on the farm having a well deserved drink. This of course was not to be. On arrival the police station was overflowing with unsuspecting I.D. less people. I made my way to the counter and demanded to see the Member in Charge I was told he was not available. After another frantic search in my bag I triumphantly pulled out my driver's license and held it up in the air for everyone to see. The constable who escorted me to the station looked peeved. I was absolved but what about Arch. Arch was now beginning to realize the enormity of the situation and his faith in my diplomacy skills I could see was waning. There was a cage in the court yard rapidly filling up with people, one with no clothes on, and it looked as though Arch was headed for it. When I demanded to use the phone the constable behind the desk ignored me. In desperation Arch handed me his wallet and watch he had resigned himself to a weekend in the clanger. I slammed my fist on the counter and demanded to know what their intentions were, I was told that Arch would be spending the weekend inside and then would attend court on Monday morning. I burst out laughing. But it was no laughing matter. I smiled reassuringly at Arch but he refused to be placated. 

In the meantime, my friend Carol had found a forlorn Kate sitting by herself in the Cafe, when she enquired where Mummy was? Kate explained solemnly that Mummy and Arch had been taken off by a policeman and would be back soon. A frantic Carol arrived at the Police Station with a lunch pack and two cokes. Is this sustenance for a weekend in gaol I asked? I was eventually released and had to leave a very shaken Arch behind with promises that help would soon be on its way. Carol and I made our way to the nearest phone trying to get hold of the British High Commission but it appeared that the lines were down in Chinhoyi and nobody had a working phone, but somebody thought the Dominee's phone was operating. We sped off to the Dominee and with a screech of brakes, I ran in interrupting a startled Man of the Cloth who was in the midst of religious counsel with a very nice lady. They immediately stopped praying and gazed in wide eyed wonder as I desperately blurted out my tale of woe. Unfortunately, the Dominee explained his phone was not working either. By this time I was in state of collapse I sank into one of the Dominee's chairs uninvited I might add, wondering what to do next? Maybe it was being in the presence of prayer but I suddenly sprung upon an idea. 

Is Nick Swanepoel (CFU president) in town?. The lady who happened to live close by thought he was and she was going past their farm. I hastily wrote a note to Nick "Tobacco executive incarcerated in Chinhoyi Prison "I need your help. Not for one minute thinking Nick would be there. Carol and I rushed back to the Police Station wondering what to say to Arch. Nothing had changed but Arch hadn't been put in a cell yet but it was close. In the meantime back at Nick's. As Nick was entertaining imporant guests for lunch, a car screamed up the drive, out leapt a harassed woman with a note in hand. Apparently Nick read the note, threw down his napkin, charmingly excused himself, climbed in his car and rushed for the Police Station. We could not believe our eyes when he drove up grinning broadly. In moments he met with the Member in Charge who incidentally was there all along. After lengthy negotiations and a great deal of patience Nick secured Arch's release. Four hours later Arch was a free man and a very grateful one. 

Moral of the story its not what you know its who you know.!! Now that was a dedicated CFU president in my book and you couldn't have a better friend than Carol Johnson. And what happened to Arch well he never stayed with us again .

Mandy Retzlaff
Bvumba
Zimbabwe

P.S. Its now 2003 and I still don't have an ID I phoned Goromonzi recently inquiring if the disc was available and they told me "Not ready yet" phone next month. Hard to believe its taking 18 years to obtain an ID disc or maybe not.!!!