Running the Gauntlet

I am sure you most of you feel just like I do. Its getting pretty scary out there. Every day we hear of robberies, brutal beatings, car jackings, people made to drink acid and suffering candle burns. Something in the back of your mind probably says but surely it couldn't happen to me but it could. Now we most definitely don't want to be murdered in our beds so most of us are trying hard to step up security. Making sure the doors are all locked, windows tightly closed so they can't squirt Quick Start (ether) in the room and render you helpless before it all begins. Practising high karate kicks in case you get a chance to nail one of the bastards in the balls. Mind you if they are thinking about burning you with a candle maybe comatose is not a bag thing. 

Then there is the frightening thought of rape, so no more bouncing into bed dressed in nothing but your birthday suit and a squirt of Chanel. Its a sensible pair of elasticized knickers and your pyjamas buttoned up to your chin. Then you collect the arsenal of weapons to hide under your pillow. Pepper spray, knife, tiny pistol with tiny bullets and Sue Elton's firecrackers guaranteed to sound just like a shotgun. Sue gave me a clandestine demonstration and they certainly do, I thought we had blown the walls of her garage down and found myself flat on the grass with my hands over my ears. You are so uncomfortable waiting for the inevitable you can't sleep. As you lie there eyes wide open, you worry about your dogs. Now mine would lick any would be burglar to death, if they barked it would be in greeting, they would wag their tails in unashamed joy as the intruders came in to axe us. 

Miraculously, you wake in the morning to discover there is another day. You hug each other in relief and then rush outside to see if the tyres are still on your car, if they are the relief is immense. You punch the air with a whoop of absolute joy, ecstatic that your vehicle is still there for another day. You pirouette back into the house to build up stamina to face the day. You set off, kids in the back, down the hairpin bends of the Bvumba to earn your daily crust. Not knowing what's out there and what surprises are in store for you.. It can be anything, hi-jacking, spot speeding fines which have to be paid immediately and if by some chance you don't have the money on you, well you could spend the rest of the day parked under a tree while the police work out what to do with you. We have all heard of the guy who was shot at the roadblock there is a white cross which is a daily reminder depicting where he was shot. So you have to be very obliging as you greet gun toting army youth unless you upset them. 

As this is happening, you could have a phone call telling you that your farm equipment which you thought was safe, has now been commandeered by a general, inspector, superintendent and is now making its way to Gokwe and by the way there is nothing you can do about it. This could apply to farms, cattle and of course crops still in the ground. You finally reach the office after surviving two near head on collisions and the car in front of you loses its wheel going round the corner but fortunately it bounces against the kerb and doesn't wipe out your windscreen or kill your husband. You raise your eyes to heaven in a silent prayer of thanks. So it goes on, pretty exciting stuff, I won't go on about unhappy labour, pay increases, workers trying to put you in jail who still feel they should receive a package. 

Now don't get despondent, at least for us life is far from boring and us Zimbabweans could never be described as boring, far from it. Meet an outsider and describe a couple of days in your life in Zim and they look at you in outraged disbelief. You see them labeling you a psychopathic liar. It must sound pretty weird if you don't live here. In fact it must sound unbelievable. We just have to take each day as it comes and Zimbabwean's have become very good at that. We know that tomorrow is promised to no one. Which is really what this email is all about. 

I know I got a bit side tracked one does in this country. While I was sitting in a landrover in Kwe Kwe incinerating myself in the heat waiting for a driver. I noticed a book in a shop window and it was called "Historic trees of Zimbabwe". What a find, I whipped out and bought it and was absolutely amazed to find there are a fair amount of these beautiful historic trees in Mutare and the Bvumba. Pat and I found the historic baobab outside Kadoma on the way back from Kwe Kwe and I could not believe we had never noticed it before. Too busy worrying about other things. Today Pat, Annie Cheeseman and I found the enormous strangler fig in Oak avenue and let me tell you it is huge. This weekend we are off to find the historic Bvumba trees. Its all so exciting and keeps your mind off all the hideous things that could happen. So appreciate more than ever all the great things this country still has to offer and as for me I am checking the windows and doors of course, loading the gun and practising my high kicks down the passage.

Mandy Retzlaff
Bvumba
Zimbabwe