Only in Africa

Sitting round the braai at Casa Horribilis our office in Chimoio, swatting mosquitoes, I was fascinated to hear a story that Brenda was relating. It pertained to the employment of wheelchair bound casual workers. I had noticed the wheelchairs neatly parked outside and was curious to know why they were there.

Brenda and Bernard run a seed company next door to us. They had taken on a contract for a tobacco company to pack chemicals for small scale farmers, an enormous task. They were working round the clock to fulfill the order. As chemical labels had to be folded in to the packs Brenda decided that this might suit handicapped or wheelchair bound people and give them the opportunity to earn some money. She attended a meeting with 54 disabled people and approached them about working for her. They were of course ecstatic and Brenda left the meeting in a halo of good will. The next day only 15 hand pedaled wheelchairs and their occupants arrived. They enthusiastically sat down to work, eager to fold labels. "Where are the others?" enquired Brenda doing a quick head count and peering up the road to see if there were any stragglers. " Ah Madam,The others don't want to come" one old man sighed. "They are truly sorry, but they can make more money begging." I had to chuckle.

The other night watching CNN, I was amused to see a harassed reporter in Niger surrounded by what looked like thousands of healthy, smiling people. They preened for the camera dressed in brightly coloured cloths, plump babies wagged their hands and small children bounced up and down so that they were in view of the camera lenses. The reporter was being jostled as a sea of faces pushed closer to what must have been an aid truck. "Niger is in the midst of the worse food crisis ever" the reporter stuttered. "Doctors without Borders are working night and day to treat these people," he said waving an expansive arm over the crowd, who now seemed to be fully out of control and enjoying themselves immensely. As they were being held back with sticks, a harassed doctor appeared on the screen, nervously sucking on a cigarette and looked as apprehensive as the reporter. He explained that they would be unable to do anything for these people as there were far too many and it was hard to assess who actually needed medical attention and food. So they were abandoning the program for the day. I must say he looked relieved. I am sure they are doing a wonderful job in Niger and help does get to a lot of people but I was sceptical about this crowd and I am sure a lot of Aid Agencies have learnt bitter lessons in Africa. 

On Friday Pat and I set off to Vilankulos again on business. A rather uneventful flight except on board, which I found rather delightful were the Zimbabwean Karate Team on their way to Maputo to compete. I know! absolutely amazing what still happens in Zim although we are on the brink of extinction. We were met by Lynne Joshua who gave us her personal tour of Vilanculos. Now for a town that is the gateway to islands and I can't tell you how breathtaking those islands look from a plane, I am always so shattered how terrible Vilankulos town looks. I can't understand why the Mayor doesn't clean it up. It remains one of the filthiest towns in the whole of Mozambique. It is however, full of very colourful people and rather exciting venues. We started off at the Zombie Cucumber which is renowned for cheap drinks and very good food. I know the name conjures up images of pot heads but it is actually managed by a lawyer who obviously has a very good head for business. We ate at Casa Rex and had one of the best prawn dishes I have ever tasted, Camarrao Zambezia. Then to Casa Gucci for breakfast, Christa's German pancakes with caramelized pineapple must be the best ever!! And nobody can be more friendly than Ian and Jo at Blue Waters, so all in all, if you put the paintwork aside you can't help being fond of Vilanchaos and chaos it is. We met the Karate Team on the return journey, they were flushed with success and most had karateed themselves to victory.

Back in Chimoio, Gigi Gambeau and I were given directions to look at a house that might be available for lease. I listened to the directions carefully but have always had a huge problem telling my right for my left. We found the house straight away or so we thought, in the leafy wide streets of a very gracious part of Chimoio. We fell in love with these beautiful old mansions with their faded paintwork and ornate balconies. They obviously belonged to the Cotton Barons of the era. We swept through the gates of the first double story white house, admiring the fine iron work. While we waited for our host who had told us she would meet us at 3.30 pm to show us around, we amused ourselves giving Romeo and Juliet impersonations from the balcony. Growing bored with Romeo and Juliet we did an extensive tour of the house. An anxious guard kept following us. He gabbled away in Portuguese, flapping his hands and then called for backup when we moved into the kitchen. As I opened the cupboards and peered into the fridge, the poor fellow was almost prostrate with shock. His relief was visible when we eventually moved out of the house and settled down on the verandah chairs. Making ourselves comfortable, we imagined the lovely parties we could throw on the stoep if we leased the house. As it turned four, Gigi wondered vaguely if we should perhaps phone the person we were meeting and find out why she was delayed. The phone was immediately answered, she abruptly demanded to know what was holding us up. "I have been waiting for you" she fumed irritated. "Can you believe it!!" I screamed, throwing the cell phone at Gigi "We are at the wrong house!!!" It was a hasty and unexplained exit as you can imagine, leaving a shattered looking guard wringing his hands in relief, shouting something in Portuguese and I have a slight suspicion it was abusive. We found out later the house belonged to a very prominent member of the Chimoio community and he has Chissano(ex president of Mozambique) as his guest when he is in town.

Mandy Retzlaff
Bvumba
Zimbabwe

Thank you for all your emails I am so amazed that my narratives hold such interest. It is so lovely to hear from so many Zimbos from all over the world. Things seem to be more difficult than ever here and very difficult to run any kind of business. Without electricity we are having lots of candle light dinners and our figures are trimmer from all the walking we have to do. Bathing has become a problem for a lot of residents in Harare. That's the positive side so we won't go into the negatives otherwise I will be reduced to weeping.