Let no go to the gym.

In a moment of madness to combat stress Pat and I headed off down to the gym. As we waddled in, a surprised and fit looking instructor with biceps like boulders greeted us. We want to join the gym we chorused. He managed to hide his amusement but his tone was doubtful where do you want to start. Pat headed for the weights room at a brisk pace I trailed behind. This is what we need said Pat with his cigarette firmly clenched in his mouth. I gazed at the different benches and things in horror and immediately wanted to light up a cigarette. Pat, this looks more stressful than stress. Pat was overcome by enthusiasm he was now bounding round the weights room with the instructor called Spencer looking as though a lunatic had been set loose. Sign up now and Gaydia must join as well. Spencer reluctantly took our money and didn't look forward to seeing us. 

The next day there we were, Pat as enthusiastic as ever Gaydia and I looking reluctant. Pat was dressed for the part an old white t shirt stretched over his boep and a pair of tracksuit pants which if he bent down I am sure would split. He immediately took charge and positioned Gaydia and I next to him. Gaydia took one look at the weights room and courageously said I want to do aerobics. Spencer agreed readily and took her off to do a session of Thai kick boxing. That left Pat and I. Right, said Pat in his sergeant major voice, warm up exercises first, I could have died of embarrassment. After an hour I lay on the carpet of the gym like a beached whale Spencer looked at me with concern you know you should do the kick boxing next time. There was no stopping Patrick the next thing was the sauna. He herded me into the sauna, gees Pat don't you think this is too hot. We sat down and Pat threw a jug of water over the hot stones a cloud of steam was thrown up which burnt the skin off our faces. Pat I don't think this can be good for you. Pat was in his element, stoke up the fire he shouted and feel your body sweat. By this time I couldn't see, the sweat was in my eyes and my ears were burning I staggered out leaving Pat behind. After my recovery period I decided to check on Pat there he was like a large turkey basting himself with water I withdrew hurriedly. He eventually bounded out I was relieved still in one piece. 

Thankfully we arrived home to be met by Katie. Where have you been she demanded? I told her about our activities at the gym, she looked shocked ‘Mum I hope you didn't meet anybody I know’. 

Mandy Retzlaff
Mutare
Zimbabwe