Arresting Mr. Prior

Annie Cheeseman phoned to say the Gorgeous Kate was about to play her tennis match and why was I late. So I left what I was doing, leapt in the car with Kaitano the Driver in the passenger seat and raced madly down the hairpin bends of the Bvumba. Kaitano is a reluctant passenger, due to the fact that no matter how hard I try to avoid the potholes I always manage to hit one unexpectedly. They are as big as South America at the moment. As we hit it, our wheel disappears for awhile, then it bounces out, we veer off the road and then I swerve violently and we veer back on the road. Kaitano usually has his hands over his eyes at this stage.

We then have to stop while Kaitano inspects the chassis to see if I have left the springs, or shock absorbers behind. Fortunately its Kaitano with me and not Pat. If I drive over a stone with Pat he goes ballistic and I am lectured about bad driving all the way to our destination. If Pat hits a rock or a stone its a completely different story and its always the rock's fault. I zoomed through the gates of Hillcrest in record time avoiding Mr.Prior's car in a head on collision, I gave him a cheery wave and he waved back. He looked very chipper for a man soon to be arrested. I was aghast to read Dave Coltart's letter that Government were now about to arrest our headmasters because they had not informed them of an increase in school fees. A list of the Schools blacklisted has already been sent out to the various police stations. Can you imagine the Police arriving to arrest Mr.Prior.. Handcuffing him and throwing him in the back of the Landrover, while the school pupils look on, waving bravely, handkerchiefs to their eyes. Turning to each other sadly and saying "Well there goes our Mr. Prior."

Now coming from Chinhoyi I know all about being thrown in the clanger although Pat and I personally managed to avoid it just by keeping two steps ahead, most of our friends were not so lucky. For two years I carried round a TM bag called jail survival kit. It contained a clean pair of undies, toothpaste, toothbrush, mosquito repellant and a book to read. After hearing the true life horror stories that came out of Chinhoyi Prison mozzie repellant wasn't necessary, it was the stuff that kills lice that was needed. I have had no experience of Mutare prison but I imagine the same would apply. Ludicrous as this all seems and I know those of you reading this email who have not lived in Zimbabwe will be shaking your heads in disbelief. Arresting headmasters what utter nonsense.!!! But its true. Personally I hope Mr.Prior is never arrested as he is a lovely headmaster and I don't know what we would do without him. Yip, its a crazy place and in the words of Alex van Leenhoff, Darkest Africa is getting darker all the time. Is there nobody out there who can save us. 

Mandy Retzlaff
Bvumba
Zimbabwe